The Rocketsled to Hell
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Liberalism -

Please, someone, help me understand how Liberals think.

~How is it that Liberals can advocate abortion, yet claim that they defend human rights?
~How is it that Liberals can support the abolition of gangs and violence in the inner-city, yet destroy the carreers of police officers who shoot criminals?
~How is it that Liberals can be all for feeding the poor and hungry, but chastize a cattle ranch for killing cows for meat?
~How is it that Liberals can be against liberating Iraq from Saddam, period?
~How is it that Liberals can hate George W. Bush, his administration, and more than half of America, but still support the troops?

Does any of this make sense? It has to make sense to somebody... but it sure as hell doesn't to me.
Turkey Day -

Happy American Thanksgiving Day! [I know I'm late]

Today... err... two days ago... a day we should all be giving thanks for everything we have - all of our luxuries and all of our extravagances. Thank God for our freedom. Thank God for America.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
It's True -

Sleep is good -

One of the reasons I've been lacking in the shut-eye department lately is that I'm moronically addicted to Conan O'Brien. Another reason is that I met a great girl this weekend and spent many hours awake with her. At least I have fun when I'm not sleeping.

Luckily Thanksgiving is coming up and turkey has a wonderful effect on putting humans to sleep. Since I happen to be human, I should enjoy the tranquilizing.

On an unrelated note, I rented "The Recruit" the other day, among other movies, in an attempt to drop my boredom level while I sit on my ass all week. [You gotta love vacation, even if you're not doing anything] Good flick, go see it. Even if you can't stand Collin Farell (sp?).
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Airsoft ads -

Woah, I just noticed in one of the rotating Blogger ads you can see at the top of my page a couple of links for Airsoft!

We're getting more and more people showing interest in the sport at the store. That's a good thing.

Looks like the sport is really starting to take off.

So we had a skirmish last Sunday, and Matt (a new partner at Fortress Games and fellow Airsoft and sport compact enthusiast) got shot in the back by a newbie. At a ten-foot range. With about a seven-round burst. Ouch. Needless to say he was pretty pissed. The only thing that kept him from wrapping the kid's gun around his neck was the fact that he was under 18. It seemed that the cheating subsided quite a bit after that kid got his ass chewed out.

Anywhoo... we had a pretty good time, and no injuries this time around. I'm determined to get a box magazine for my AEG. My hi-cap kept crapping out on me, and reloading every 68 rounds is annoying.
Is that all? -

When I first saw this I thought it was pretty funny; that is until I entered my name and age...

What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex by UMAJohnnie
Most Likely to Say"What do you mean 'is that all?!'"
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Ha frickin' ha. I don't like it anymore.
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Currency Ads -

The Onion has a good brief about the millions the government wasted on the advertising campaign for the new $20.00 bills:

"Ad Campaign For New $20 Bill A Success
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Department of the Treasury deemed the new multicolored $20 bill a raging success Monday, thanks to its $30 million advertising campaign. "Due to our print and TV ads, people across the nation are choosing our $20 bill when they need to exchange currency for goods and services within the United States and its territories," Secretary of the Treasury John Snow said. "We couldn't be happier. Americans agree that the Series 2004 U.S. currency is the legal tender for all debts, public and private." Due to high demand for the bill, the Treasury has already ordered second and third printings."

Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Someday -

Got this in an email:

This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at an Australian
university, to his boss, J. Pilgrim.

Dear Mr. Pilgrim,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.

You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however
I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to
give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like “Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!


Thursday, November 06, 2003
Betsy Ross: Crack Whore -

Broken Newz has got a great taste for satire:

"New York - Continuing with their successful “Re-Imagining History” series, CBS network today announced that it will broadcast “Betsy Ross: Crack Whore” during the upcoming Fall sweeps period.

“Yeah, we know we’ll probably catch some flak from the nit-pickers,” said CBS VP Leslie Moonves. “But, like, is everyone so anal these days that we always have to be 100% ‘accurate?’ I mean, hello, yeah, there’s not much evidence that Betsy Ross was hooked on crack, but can you prove she wasn’t? Huh, didn’t think so.”

In related news, ABC announced that it will begin production on “Pimpin’ John Adams” with Rudy Ray Moore starring as the second President of the United States. NBC is also believed to be close to a deal with Meg Ryan to star in “Good Time Dolly,” a mini-series about the sexual exploits of First Lady Dolly Madison during the “free love” days of the War of 1812. "

LO frickin' L
Blind Date Up Date -

So Sunday I meet Maggie. Hold on, gotta pee...

Aaaand back.

She chooses the meeting location: Culver's. Right away I'm thinking "oh great, my mom sets me up with Rosie O'Donnell", but I go anyway. Sitting there waiting for her, I notice a cutie walk in with her little girl. Upon closer inspection, I see that it's "K", a girl I used to hang out with (more of a friend of a friend thing) back in the day. And, might I add, looking pretty good. So I catch her attention and we share a few words- "it's great to see you", "how long has it been?", and "you're looking good". I find out she's been married and got divorced, had a daughter, and bought a house since I last saw her about eight years ago. I gave her my number and, after I wrestled with my phone for what seemed an hour, she wrote hers down. Damned cell phones. Later I would go to retrieve her number, only to have found that I misplaced it. AAARRRGH!

After I calmed my nerves down from seeing K, I sat and waited for Maggie. In she walked.

Brunette. Good so far.
Thin. Maybe too thin for my tastes.
No missing limbs. No seeing-eye dog. Thank goodness.
Cute. Not bad, mom, not bad.

We order and sit down and chit-chat was nice. She's easy-going, kind, intelligent, and from what I could tell, she's got a decent sense of humor. All good things. Lunch went well, so we saw Out of Time. Good flick. She snuggles and I put my arm around her. Ok, a little affection is alright on the first date, I guess. I drop her off at the car afterwards, and go in for a hug and a peck on the cheek. Pretty standard for a first date for me, and she tries making out with me in Culver's friggin' parking lot. A little much for a first date. This really turned me off. No, I'm not a prude; remember, I'm male.

This Sunday we're going to the Marquette basketball game. I'm not sure if I really am all that interested in her, though. Her eagerness to see me again and the fact that she emails me everyday don't really do much for me.

I really hope K calls me. Soon.
Monday, November 03, 2003
The Iraq/al-Qaeda Link -

From Frontpage Magazine:

"THE INDISPENSABLE Glenn Reynolds has linked to an article in the Nashville Tennessean written by a Tennessee judge who believes he is in possession of documents linking Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.
The judge is Gilbert S. Merritt, a federal appeals court judge invited to help Iraqis construct a legal system in postwar Iraq. He is, according to Reynolds, "a lifelong Democrat and a man of unimpeachable integrity."

Here is an excerpt of his account:

The document shows that an Iraqi intelligence officer, Abid Al-Karim Muhamed Aswod, assigned to the Iraq embassy in Pakistan, is ''responsible for the coordination of activities with the Osama bin Laden group.''

The document shows that it was written over the signature of Uday Saddam Hussein, the son of Saddam Hussein. The story of how the document came about is as follows.

Saddam gave Uday authority to control all press and media outlets in Iraq. Uday was the publisher of the Babylon Daily Political Newspaper.

On the front page of the paper's four-page edition for Nov. 14, 2002, there was a picture of Osama bin Laden speaking, next to which was a picture of Saddam and his ''Revolutionary Council,'' together with stories about Israeli tanks attacking a group of Palestinians.

On the back page was a story headlined ''List of Honor.'' In a box below the headline was ''A list of men we publish for the public.'' The lead sentence refers to a list of ''regime persons'' with their names and positions.

The list has 600 names and titles in three columns. It contains, for example, the names of the important officials who are members of Saddam's family, such as Uday, and then other high officials, including the 55 American ''deck of cards'' Iraqi officials, some of whom have been apprehended.

Halfway down the middle column is written: ''Abid Al-Karim Muhamed Aswod, intelligence officer responsible for the coordination of activities with the Osama bin Laden group at the Iraqi embassy in Pakistan.'' "

"Yes, there is a linkage between al Qaeda and Iraq." -- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Sept. 26, 2002.

Not a single one of those statements was true. And not a single one of those people is being accused of treason or malfeasance or of being a soulless anti-American warmongering drone, despite how their words were dripping with lies when they exited their mouths." --Mark Morofrd [referring to Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, and Condoleeza Rice's comments] , San Francisco Chronicle, Oct. 31, 2003

Now, you tell me who the liar is.

Sunday, November 02, 2003
Holloween Weekend so far -

Well, since I'm not out getting lucky tonight, I thought I'd post how the big weekend is going. Friday was Holloween (as if you had no idea) and I came to work dressed as a pirate. Now, I had an extremely difficult time finding a stupid pirate costume due to that damned Pirates of the Carribean movie this summer. My decision to wear a pirate costume had absolutely nothing to do with the movie, instead, I had a creative idea for the outfit.

My pirate costume: hook, striped loose pantaloons, a vest with a skull-and-crossbones, a bandana, a scimitar, and a steering wheel in my pants.

One might ask "Why do you have that steering wheel shoved down the front of your pants?". Ah, but the answer is obvious: "Arrrgh, It's drivin' me nuts!"

Funny, no?

Okay, it's not. But I thought it was. I put alot of work into it - have you any idea how ridiculously hard it is to come across a steering wheel that fits in your pants, doesn't cost $30.00 or more, and matches your eyepatch? Not to mention that these pants were obviously not made with the intention that a human might wear them.

So I wear the costume to work, 'cause I'm fun like that, and it was a hit. A few buddies of mine were going out that night, and I'd be damned if I tried wearing that thing to the bars, though. I was going to go sans-costume, but at the last minute I decided to wear my old kung fu outfit. Much better choice.

So that night I meet up with a girl named Casey; a current venture of mine. She and her friends were wearing matching angel costumes, and did they ever look hot! I'm talkin' tight little white dress-dealies with garters and all! Sheesh...

It now looks like Casey and I will hook up soon.

As for my blind date tomorrow, I now know a bit more of what to expect as I've seen a couple of pictures of Maggie. Not bad looking, but maybe young. We'll see.

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